Preparing For The Golden Years

I wanted to call it "Retirement" or "Old Age" - but then decided to stick to "Golden Years" as that is indeed how it should be - the best period of one's life.

Unfortunately, recently I came across a few people who were thoroughly disillusioned with their Golden period. I did not know what went wrong - so I donned my Market Researcher's hat and spoke to a sample of "happy" and "not-so-happy" people currently in their Golden Age.

I am summarising below some of the common aspects that came up during the discussions.  It broadly fell into 5 broad buckets - listed below in descending order of importance.

1.    Health : Most said that this is the most important aspect to being happy.  Lack of good health is a killer of happiness. Sometimes life throws us unpleasant surprises - and a perfectly healthy person might find that he/she has a disease soon after he enters his "golden age".  This is not just a reflection of the life one has led (highly stressful/unhealthy diet/lack of exercise) - but also a function of God's Will - some are blessed with it, and some are not.  We just need to be grateful and thankful if we are blessed with good health - and take care to preserve this good health as long as possible.

2.    Independence :  By this they don't just mean being physically healthy enough to "literally"  move around on their own feet - but also being able to stand on their own feet financially.    Also having enough funds to manage their expenses - and being able to afford some indulgences such as travel without having to depend on anyone.  This, they admitted, requires careful planning from a young age.

3.    Staying in one's own house : Surprisingly this came up frequently - that ideally one (along with his/her partner) should stay in their own house where they are absolute Lord and Master.   A small home - compact and easily manageable.  Staying in your own home also encourages you to be useful around the home and undertake daily chores such as shopping for vegetables, cooking or cleaning.  If the home is in a housing complex or colony it is an added advantage - as one can get companionship by making friends with people of similar wave-length.

4.    Managing one's own expectations : One needs to prepare oneself to how society will treat you once you stop being "productive".  Have realistic expectations from one's near-and-dear ones such as children.  If your children look after you in your golden period then consider yourself blessed.  Otherwise cheerfully bless them and let them lead their own lives without imposing yourself on them. 

5.    Being Mentally & Socially Engaged : It is a fact that Loneliness, Idleness and the feeling of being "useless" are major deal-breakers of one's golden period.  Having your life partner with you - and some good friends - during your golden period is a blessing.  It is also important to have activities and pursuits that keep you mentally and socially engaged - and active hobbies such as travel, arts (music etc), Social Service, Writing, teaching, Investing in the stock markets etc will ensure that one is mentally and socially engaged. 

Finally I also realised as I talked to these people that the greatest differentiator between the "happy" and the "sad" ones is their own mental disposition.  There are some who despite enjoying all the aspects mentioned above are always sad - these are the people who despite being blessed with everything still only look at life through the rear-view mirror with bitterness and regret.    

And then there are the people I really admire - these are the ones who have decided that they will continue to be happy regardless of any eventuality. These people I noticed are always happy - and they bounce back quickly into happiness despite going through some major set-backs or health problems. 

So now I am left with a lot of unanswered questions - if  a person is born with an ingrained negative disposition is there any hope for him to have an enjoyable and happy golden period?  Does life's experiences shape such dispositions?  Can a negative disposition be cured through counselling?  Is it the fear of being unhappy that is forcing many to post-pone entering their golden period early enough?  Does anyone have answers?

Ultimately as one Wise person told me "We need to accept that - despite all the preparations we do - we have very little control over what surprises life will throw at us - especially during our golden period.  We just need to be more accepting and flexible to take these googlies & curve-balls in our stride - and continue to delight in life's small pleasures. And yes, preparations do certainly help".