Insights into Married Life from the Middle Seat

On my recent flight to Mumbai I was given a middle seat as all the window and aisle seats were occupied.  Apparently most couples ask for a window and aisle seats with the hope that the middle seat will be left unoccupied and hence will give them space for a comfortable journey.

Disappointment was evident on the lady’s face seated on the aisle seat as I squeezed into the middle seat.  No sooner had I sat when she said loudly into my ear :”I hope in future you will do exactly as I tell you – that will save you from a lot of grief”.  Her tone indicated that she expected me to meekly agree – and I looked at her nervously wondering what she will order me to do. 

But to my relief she was looking beyond me to the chap sitting in the window seat.  He was a person with a goatee beard and with an apologetic air about him.  He was vigorously nodding his head at his wife’s words .

He caught me looking at him and he smiled and he said :”We are just returning from a holiday.  What about you?  Where are you coming from”?  The chap was trying to strike up a friendly conversation with me. 

Before I could open my mouth to reply, his wife’s voice boomed into my ear.  She said : “You are so lacking in self-confidence.  You should believe in yourself, man – otherwise how will you take such important decisions?”

I turned my head to look at the chap and he was again nodding his head and saying : “Yes yes – I agree I need to pull myself together”.

He then turned to me and said “I don’t want you to get inconvenienced by the conversation I and my wife are having.  So if you want I can swap seats with you and you can take my window seat”.  I readily agreed and we traded places.

Throughout the flight I overheard a serious mentoring and counselling session taking place.  The husband made several attempts to turn his head in my direction and strike up a conversation with me – but all such attempts were nipped in the bud by his wife.

When the flight landed I saw the man scurrying away hurriedly – in order to maintain an out-of-earshot gap between him and his wife.  His wife made no attempt to catch up with him – she followed him at a leisurely pace confident in her knowledge that he cannot run away too far.

I saw them next at the baggage conveyer belt.  The wife had caught up with him, and was now advising him on what kinds of t-shirts suit him better.

Their luggage came first and they made for the exit – this time both of them together.  He saw me looking at him and when he passed me he gave a sly wink.  There was not even a minor trace of irritation on his face.

And then the truth hit me.

To the numerous husbands who continue to do exactly what they want to do despite continuous attempts at reforming them – and to the wives who do not give up hope that their husbands will one day listen and follow their suggestions  – here’s wishing you a grand and happy New Year!