Sleepless In Prithvi

Ok, let me firstly make it clear that it is me – his wife – writing this post.  Usually it is he who writes those useless posts in which I am made the butt of his ridiculous jokes.

But today it is my – his wife’s – turn to write and tell you about an incident that happened yesterday that he will not write about because it will be embarrassing for him.  So let me do it.

Yesterday we went to Prithvi to listen to the Symphony Orchestra of India (SOI) performing Western Classical music.  My husband booked tickets for both of us so that he could - in his usual style - immodestly boast on facebook about how "cultured" he is.  That is an empty boast of course – and I doubt whether he understands even Indian Classical music despite the photos of music events he keeps posting on fb.

Ok, so here we were at Prithvi – and then my hubby drops a shocker.

He :   "I am suffering from a terrible jet lag after my recent visit abroad – and I think I may fall asleep during the show."

I : "So why did you decide to come today?  You could have slept at home peacefully."

To which he muttered incoherently something about Western classical music curing his jet lag and giving him a good sleep.

Within 5 minutes of the show starting, my husband had gone off to sleep.  The player on the Bassoon was playing beautifully – but I was highly distracted because of one problem : my hubby does not know how to sleep off peacefully; he was snoring. 

So I gently stamp his feet.

Husband looks at me accusingly.  I whispered to him that he should not snore.

He looked at me as if wondering whether sleeping without snoring was at all possible – and he then tried to do an imitation of Mr. Bean by using his fingers to prevent his eye lids from closing.

Really – he does not know he is embarrassing not only himself but also me.  The person sitting next to him had started casting surreptitious glances in my direction wondering what kind of characters we were. 

In 2 minutes – and despite the Mr. Bean act - my husband had slumped in his seat and was nodding away.  And then suddenly he woke up with a start and looked all around as if trying to figure out where he is.  The people sitting behind him were not looking too pleased at his antics.

I elbowed him in his stomach.  Long experience of elbowing has ensured that when I elbow, people wake up.

He woke up, and started undoing his shirt buttons. 

“Hey, what are you doing” I ask him.

“it is very hot in here – and I think I will undo my shirt” he said.

Obviously his lack of sleep has started affecting his brain.  “Have you gone crazy?  Please sit quietly” I ordered him.

He was very hurt at these words.  “What is the problem?  This is a theatre –and they tolerate Salman Khan removing his shirt” he said.

He had started talking in his sleep obviously – so I pinched him really hard – the pinch I normally reserve for my son when he dares answer me back. 

He then woke up and started tossing and turning in his seat very restlessly.  I was too embarrassed to look at the people sitting in our neighbouring seats.  All I could do was to keep kicking his feet every 5 minutes so he does not go off into deep sleep and then making a spectacle of himself. 

Finally the show got over much to my relief and my husband somehow sleep-walked out of the theatre.

“Did you sleep well?” I asked him sarcastically.

“Not with all the kicking and pinching you were giving me” he said mournfully.

“I would not have kicked you if you had gone to sleep peacefully without creating a nuisance of yourself” I said.

“What could I do – the seats in Prithvi are not reclining and do not have proper head rests – so how can someone sleep peacefully?” he said.

I predict that we will not be visiting Prithvi anytime in the near future.