House Hunting In Mumbai

“No problems sir – I will get you a very good apartment near your office – just give me a couple of days” said the broker.

The first apartment he took me to turned out to be a complete disaster.  It was in a dilapidated old building and there was no lift to get to the 3^rd floor.  Climbing the worn-out, dimly lit stairs made me claustrophobic.

“Sorry I don’t want to stay in a heritage building” I told the broker.

The sarcasm was lost on him – “sir, this is an excellent building, and just walking distance from your office” he said with a sad nod of his head.

The next apartment had a lift, but from the bedroom window I could reach out and touch the metro rail.  Every minute a metro train whizzed past rattling the apartment. 

“Sir, excellently located apartment, you can reach any part of Mumbai by using this Metro” he said. 

I looked out of the window and marveled at the engineers who had managed to build the gleaming new metro rail just an arms length away from the 3rd floor of a residential building.

“…and, you will soon get used to the sound, sir”  he said.  By now he was able to read my thoughts, and pre-empt my every negative comment.

“No, it is not the sound I am bothered about, it is the manner in which the building shakes when the train passes” I told him. 

The next apartment had a lift, had bright large windows, and was in a quiet neighbourhood. 

“Any problems with this flat sir” the broker asked me in a very solicitous tone.

“This flat is good, but  the toilets are not well maintained."

"But sir this apartment is so so good - you will never get such an apartment for your budget in Mumbai" he said with anguish.

He is putting me on the defensive.  "It is my wife - she is especially concerned about the toilets” I told him.

He rolled his eyes heaven-wards.  I was becoming an impossible to please client.

“I will not compromise on the toilets” I repeated.

“Sir, I will need to get the help of other brokers to check whether there is anything available that will meet your needs” he said, and started calling up other brokers.

2 weeks later and after seeing some 20 houses, I finally liked a house.

I was talking to the land-lord and finalizing the terms, when the broker got a call on his phone.  He went to the next room to take the call.

It was obviously another broker calling him to check whether the deal is finally through. 

I heard the broker replying on the phone “Jee, toilet aadmi ko makaan passand aaya”  (Yes, the toilet man finally liked a house).