Subtle Conversations

Valentine’s day is approaching, and it is time for my wife to drop her very subtle hints.

“I saw a beautiful necklace in that jewellery shop yesterday – I think it will look very good on me”.  My wife believes in being subtle – on such issues she does not believe in putting her husband under pressure. 

There was a time 20 years ago when I would have immediately given an equally subtle reply to this very subtle hint – but now after spending 20 years with her I have learnt that maintaining a discrete silence is the best approach.

“Maybe you should give this as a gift for Valentine’s” says my son.

I gave a dirty look at my son – he just did what in Konkani is called “adding Phunn” – basically adding fuel to the fire.

“So did you hear what I just said”? she now asks, raising her voice a bit.

There is no way I can avoid this, so I put on the best imitation of Lord Emsworth and say “Um ….. what? ……. Sorry….?”  and then gazed vaguely into the distance, hoping that the conversation would die out naturally........

“You always do this – you never hear me when it does not suit your purpose” she said.

“Daddy must be having lots of office worries on his mind” said my son.  He is developing “Phunn” into a fine art.

 “What office worries  – his mind is always blank” she said caustically.

“I have developed very selective listening after working in a very noisy office.  I can only hear important conversation” I said, hoping to add the much required humor into the conversation.  

“So whatever I say is unimportant to you” she says, agitated.

Oh, Oh........  

“Not always” I say in a small voice.

“Yeah, not always” loudly repeats my son helpfully - so that she can hear it clearly in case my response was inaudible to her. 

My son sits back contentedly in his seat - his good deed for the day done.