Coaching vs Teaching : 12 Key Learnings

I just returned from a fantastic "Train the Trainer" program in Dubai, organised by the Nielsen Global Learning team. This was an eye-opener for me as I now realize that I was not following many of the principles of being a good Coach. Here is a bland sum-up of the key learnings - though to really understand this subject one needs to experience the full 1.5 days intensive course:

1. Coaching is all about asking the right questions.  By asking the correct questions, the coach helps the person who is seeking the solution (the Coachee) to discover the solutions by himself.  The Coachee in an office situation could be your subordinate, and in a home situation could be your son seeking a solution to a problem.
2. Coaching is not Teaching.  We are often tempted to jump in and solve problems for others under the guise of teaching. But this perpetuates dependency, and consequently a "just in time, urgent" culture which is not a good environment to practice coaching.
3. "Directing" or "telling" a person what to do is not necessarily bad - it is used in situations where there is no time or the coachee has poor competence.  However, minimise Directing to the extent possible as it is neither good for the manager (Coach) nor for the personal growth of the subordinate (Coachee). 
4. Coaching is all about the Coachee - and not about the coach.  Buy-in of the solution, and its implementation, is better if the solution is self-discovered by the coachee through the coach asking the right questions.
5. A coach figures out the level of competence of the person for that particular task, issue, challenge or question - and asks the suitable coaching questions (open-ended, suggestive, leading or directive) depending on the competence of the coachee for that particular task.
6. To be a good coach does not require one to be skilled at that task - it is all about having the right mind-set.  In fact in many cases, the best coaches are not the experts on the subject matter.
7. Coaching always operates in the environment of Trust.  Lose the trust (example by blaming the coachee for a mistake), and you lose respect and credibility as a coach
8. Coaching does not imply a hands-off, low involvement approach.  Coaching by its very nature implies very high involvement by the coach to help the coachee to self-discover the solution to the problem.
9. For pro-active coaching tying up the feedback to the Motivating Drivers of the coachee is critical - and the coach needs to ensure that he taps into the Coachee's Motivating Drivers (and not his own).  The Motivating Driver could be Achievement, Recognition, Affiliation, Power, or Safety.  Tapping into the right Motivating Driver is crucial for the feedback to be taken in the right spirit, and for the coachee to be motivated to either change his behaviour, or to continue (or even improve) his current excellent behaviour.
10. When starting the process of coaching, spend less time on "Investigative" (understanding the past) - and more time on "Insight" (understanding the future options), and "Empowerment" (arriving at the preferred option with a timeline).  Typically we all make the mistake of spending too much time on the Investigative part.
11. Coaching is a continuous process, and is best pro-actively done. Periodically re-visit the goal of coaching and keep its focus on aspects within one's control ("don't try to solve world hunger"). Coaching should be done not just for areas of improvement, but also in situations where there is a great performance (Typically we only give feedback when something needs to improve). 
12. To be a good coach requires lots of practice as we need to come out of the teaching mind-set. It requires the constant practice of skills such as Active Listening, understanding body language, and para-phrasing. It requires effort to move into unconscious competence where we do this naturally.

Thanks to Nielsen for living up to its reputation of being an Academy Company, and to the trainer Adam Pickford.    What I learnt will need to be practiced not just in office - but in life in general.