Elevated Conversations

I parked my car in the office parking lot and got out.  It was a rainy humid morning and my glasses immediately thickly fogged over, so I removed them and made my way to the elevator.

From the distance I could make out that a woman dressed in a red sari was approaching the elevator. Without my glasses I could not make out her face.  All I could make out was that she had a beautiful figure, and the glint from her teeth indicated she is smiling - but I could not make out whether she was smiling at me or at someone else.

I did not want to be thought to be staring so I quickly averted my gaze.

She came and stood next to me, and said :"I smiled at you, and you did not smile back"

I turned my head - and now recognised her as a senior colleague who was visiting from our Delhi office. She was probably my age - in her late forties - but maintained herself very well.

This was embarrassing. As we both got into the elevator I said : "I did not have my glasses so could not see your face clearly".

And then to my acute embarrassment I heard myself saying: "I was trying to see whether you are someone I know - but without my glasses all I could see was a beautiful figure in red".

She now had a very amused expression on her face. So to hide my embarrassment I heard myself blabbering: "I did not want to look too closely and then be thought of as ogling at unknown women"

Oh oh that did not help either.

There was silence in the elevator, and I was busy kicking myself for saying the wrong things.  I wondered what terrible impressions she has formed of me.

I said : "I mean to say, people at my age should be careful and not smile at unknown women"

She smiled and as we got out of the lift she said :"Only we think we are still young. The fact is that if I or you smile at an unknown person, people will understand and interpret it only as a characteristic of old age.  So please go ahead and smile at anybody - we now have the licence" she said with a twinkle in her eye.

A VPP (Very Puzzled Pigeon)

I say old chap, I am in a bit of soup - I did not know I was of Pakistani nationality.

On why Kedar grows a beard

So I am Kedar, and I am in a Market Research agency.  Yesterday I called a meeting with my team mates and with my boss to discuss something that really upset me.

My boss Rahul an old fogey, immediately asked me why I had called for a meeting.

So I explained : "So you see, last week I had gone to observe a group discussion that our agency was conducting among men who had recently bought baby diapers.  The group discussion was happening on the 2nd floor in a hotel room, and I had gone down to buy pan-beeda when I was approached by an interviewer who wanted to know whether I will be interested in attending the group discussion. He told me that all I had to do was to just sit there and nod my head, and I will get a good gift at the end of the 2 hour discussion.  Imagine an interviewer from my own agency trying to recruit me to attend my own group discussion".

I could see a lot of sympathetic nods in the room - apparently my other colleagues too have experienced it.

So I continued : "And what was especially embarrassing was that even my client was approached in the lobby by another interviewer and cajoled into attending the group on baby diapers.  My client was not even married and hence got really upset and gave me a firing of my life."

The old fogey Rahul said :"Does this happen in all groups?".  Trust my boss to come up with highly irrelevant questions.

So I said: "It always happens.  Why, even in female groups......."

Before I could complete my sentence, the old fogey says "What, you get recruited to attend even female groups?".

That old fogey needs to be definitely committed to a lunatic asylum.

Before I could retort, the old fogey says : "Ah, that explains why you have recently started growing a beard, Kedar".

I very much doubt the future of group discussions if this industry has guys like this boss.